When you think of mom friends, you might think of a group of women that sit around comparing their children. Underneath the countless comparisons of which child accomplished what and when there's a silent competition for the hypothetical number one mom spot. In your head, this all happens while finishing off countless bottles of wine. This type of mom certainly does exist but is not a good representation of a true mom friend.
Since it's possible to make the wrong friends, you should be very careful when building your tribe. You should look for friends that are honest, supportive, and that you genuinely like being around. If done right, you'll find that in many cases one of the best parts of motherhood is the other moms and that having mom friends is a vital part of surviving motherhood.
Mom friends understand what you're going through. As much as your partner wants to understand what you're going through in your new role as a mother, he probably never will. In a lot of ways, you have to go through it to completely understand it. Your friends that don't have kids will fall into one of three categories 1) Those who don't think your new life fits well into their own life and disappear shortly after you give birth, 2) Those who think that you're overreacting because in their heads it can't be that hard or 3) Those who want to support you but don't really know how to do so. You may also have current mom friends or family members that understand what you're going through but depending on how old their kids are, they may be too far removed from what you're experiencing to really empathize.
Mom friends keep you sane when you are on the verge of breaking and losing your sanity. When you feel as if no matter what you do, you can't keep up with it all, your mom friends will be there to lend reassurance that what you're going through is perfectly normal. They may even be going through it as well. This won't necessarily make things easier but it will help to lift up your spirits and your confidence and let you know that you are not alone. It will help you to feel less like a failure and more like the mom that you are. One who is probably trying her best and doing a really great job!
Mom friends will help keep your social life going. You probably don't have the energy for clubbing and late nights anymore. Even if you can muster up the energy, you know that you'll be miserable the next day when you have to be 100% for your kid or kids. Your mom friends get this. You don't even have to explain anything to them. They will want to do social activities with you that will give you your fix while not overly exhausting you. As a bonus, they won't be mad at you for wanting to be home by 10 pm!
Mom friends won't judge you. If you've got your true tribe, a group of relatable and honest women, you won't have to preface conversations with phrases like "Don't get me wrong, I love my kids" or "He's such a good dad, but..." Your mom friends will understand that when you vent, you're doing just that. They will listen to your rant, co-sign when needed and probably join in on the venting and help you to not feel self-conscious about complaining or like you're being ungrateful.